Empty
by Lexie Jayne
Summary: Krit contemplates his feelings for Syl. Prequel to Twisted.


AN: This is the prequel to 'Twisted' and part of my Syl and Krit trilogy. It's up to you if you'd like to read this one before you read 'Twisted' but they both stand alone. Please review, it makes me feel happier. J   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Syl didn't get to see Krit very often; they both ended up in different cities, and both worked pretty hard. Syl had managed to get a decent flat this time, and had to work two jobs (waitress by day and bartender by night) just to be able to afford the rent. Being only seventeen made finding jobs kinda hard, because she had no birth records or high school diploma.  
  
Anyway, Syl and Krit had been really close back at Manticore, and somehow, Krit always managed to track her down. Sometimes, they had brief phone conversations, or had dinner together. The old familiar closeness was still there.  
  
Krit was a womaniser - anything female, he slept with. For a sixteen year old boy, his life was perfect - sex, no school, junk food and as many porn movies he could rent with the fake ID Brin had hooked him up with.  
  
Except Syl; Krit always thought his affection for his older sister (he found it almost impossible to think of her as his big sister, as she was so much shorter) was a kind of obsessive puppy love; maybe it was because they'd had such a dysfunctional childhood.  
  
Then he noticed that his preferred one-night stands were short blonde girls. Krit decided that was merely an ugly coincidence. Syl wasn't remotely girl-like; for one thing, low-cut tops were completely wasted on her, if you know what he meant. Syl was just… Syl-like.   
  
But Krit knew he was screwed up; how many sixteen year olds spent their days working on a building site, then spending their sleepless nights prowling around bars, clubs and the likes, looking for a girl to bed? All Krit knew was that his life was very unsatisfying, in more ways than one.  
  
Ben visited him sometimes; and talked about Brin in a way Krit never wanted to hear; damnit, Brin may not be Ben's little sister anymore, but she was Krit's.  
  
"X5 girls, man," Ben had laughed. "Once you have one, you'll never go back."  
  
Maybe for Ben, it was purely physical, but Krit needed that something that made that girl stand out. And none of the girls he found and slept with had that quality.   
  
Then, a phone call from Syl; she'd worked out she was turning eighteen in a week, and since they hadn't seen each other for practically a year, could she come over?  
  
Krit agreed; Syl was his soul mate. In a strictly non-romantic, platonic way. In fact, they were almost twins in their closeness.  
  
Except for the whole thing where Krit thought he liked Syl a little too much, but had no desire to have sex with her. Syl really wasn't a sex-having girl.  
  
Late summer night, and Krit was hanging out, waiting for her to turn up. There was beer, there was pizza, soda, pop corn and coffee. Not much else. There was a pile of pre-Pulse movies Krit had gotten a hold of - he'd rented a few, stolen a few and been lent a few. Movies were a passion that they both shared, so it was something they could do together.  
  
"Krit!"  
  
No way.   
  
A year had certainly changed Syl. And not for the worse, Krit decided. Her shiny blonde hair was cut to just above her shoulders. The fading sun caught the silver earrings she wore; four in each ear. She wore a top that Krit had to ponder for a moment. It was a navel-bearing top, that buttoned up the front, and was off the shoulders. And low cut. The sort of top guys pray for.   
  
And Krit was not a religious guy.  
  
Tight black jeans, X5 standard black boots (Krit sometimes thought that Zack must write down the brand and make of some decent black boots and somehow convince every other X5 to wear the exact same. It was almost creepy.) And a belly-button ring; red one. She looks beautiful; sort of shiny and air brushed. He could almost make out the shiny-ness of her lip gloss.   
  
He comes out and wraps her in a hug, smelling her flowery shampoo and vanilla lip gloss and the vaguely tropical scent of her perfume. "You look great," he manages to tell her.  
  
She grins. "Thank you." She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and looks away, vaguely embarrassed. "You've grown up so much."  
  
And so has she. She's curvy now. Krit can think of her as sexy, beautiful… not the almost-cute thing she had going on before. As they walk towards his place, in the back of Krit's mind, he's mentally undressing her.  
  
And cursing himself for being sick, like Ben. What he's doing with Brin, what he tells Krit, what he says, isn't what someone… sane… would do.  
  
As he refocuses on Syl, he realises that while she may have suddenly changed into a girl, she still is Syl. Confidant, best friend, soul mate, sister.   
  
They eat everything - two pints of chocolate ice cream, the pizza, the pop corn, the beer and soda, the coffee and even some cold Chinese food that's at least three days old. Or maybe more.  
  
The movies are fun; laughing and joking and teasing. Syl's hair is tousled and her eyes are bright; she doesn't look so immaculate now. And that excellent top is slipping down at the front, a little every time she rolls around the lounge.  
  
Krit knows he shouldn't be looking at his older sister like this; she's not someone he can have. But his mind wanders back to Ben's statement - "X5 girls, man. Once you have one, you'll never go back."  
  
They are lying on a mattress, surrounded by pillows, laughing after the movie finishes. Empty pizza boxes, ice cream cartons, Chinese food cartons, pop corn bags, tins from beer and soda, dirty coffee cups… all of it lays around the room. Pop corn is everywhere, because they were having a pillow fight and Syl rolled on top of a bag.   
  
They are lying there together, laughing off another 1990's movie joke, and they look at each other.  
  
"Happy Eighteenth, Syl," Krit murmurs. He knows he's had too much to drink, and he's feeling stupid. Damn, he's at a stupid age. But he leans forward and kisses her with everything he feels for her.  
  
"Krit," Syl pushes him away, but they are still close, One of her hands is resting against his chest and he stares directly into her eyes, which are wide. "W-We can't!"  
  
"We can. It's really easy," Krit grins, trying to pretend that Syl is like every other woman. He can talk her into this, and when she leaves in the morning, without a word, he can pretend it doesn't hurt so much that he wants to kill himself. Or go mad.   
  
"You can have any girl you want," Syl murmurs, unwittingly leaning closer. "Why me? I'm your sister."  
  
Krit doesn't reply; Syl's older, she's meant to be more responsible - if she wants to, she can stop him. He kisses her again, undoing her top and pulling her closer.  
  
When he does look at her again, she looks younger than he is. Innocence and fear.  
  
But he kisses her again, anyway, praying he won't turn into Ben.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It's the early hours of the morning. And Syl isn't next to him anymore. Krit sits up, looking around for his boxers; he can hear the water in the kitchen running.  
  
Going into the kitchen, he stares at Syl, who has gotten a glass of water and is taking some tryptophan. She was fully dressed, except she looked rumpled, in a good way.  
  
"Are you leaving?" Krit said, breaking the silence.   
  
Syl jumped, jerking up. Her eyes were shiny, like they were full of tears.   
  
"Yeah, I've got the night shift tonight," she said, rinsing the glass and not looking at him.  
  
"You weren't going to say anything, were you?" Krit said, frowning. "You were going to leave, and not call or anything, were you?" In three long strides, Krit was over the other side of the kitchen, next to her. "Don't go. I love you."  
  
Syl physically flinched at that comment. "Don't say that - last night meant nothing, it was just physical. Nothing will happen between us, Krit."  
  
Krit looked hurt for a split moment and gazed into Syl's eyes, which were very blue at that moment. Very blue and very shiny.  
  
"I love you, Syl. I've never felt like this about any other girl I know. Please stay with me," he begged in a voice just barely above a whisper. "I love you." And then he kissed her, pouring all his emotion into that kiss, trying to convince her physically.   
  
Syl pulled back, biting her lip. "Krit, you're practically my brother. It meant nothing. And I… I really need to get going."  
  
Syl grabbed her bag, straightened her top and turned back to Krit.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
And she left. 


End file.
